Parenting

From talking and reading to infants to making values clear (best done in conversations around the dinner table), parents exert enormous influence over their children’s development. It is important for parents to recognize that kids come into the world with their own temperaments, and it is the parents’ job to provide an interface with the world that eventually prepares a child for complete independence. Too much parenting cripples children as they move into adulthood and renders them unable to cope with the merest setbacks. Too-little parenting, establishes that lack of parental engagement often leads to poor behavioral outcomes in children

Need for parentIng skill

Earlier we had joint families and hence the roles of parenting were divided but now in nuclear families the sole responsibility lies with the parents. 

The social structure has changed today there is emphasis on individualization There is lot of pinning down of aspiration of parents on the child,  The challenges from environment have increased Hence parents have to put themselves in many roles 

But some things have not changed ,Successful parentIng  Is still considered as  success as an individual and as a matter of fact is of high esteem. There is still lot of emotional investment parents have overall responsibility of psychological development of the child

Now has the childhood changed?  

The range and variety of exposure has increased to about 3 to 4 times. We had one channel now there are multiple channels  we had one  gadget today there are multiple gadgets And hence single focus has changed to multiple focus and  multitasking 

Stimulus changes the information processing capacity of the nerve cells. Hence there is difference in the parents and childs information processing capacity

Lets Ellaborate the differences

Parents had   ‘Experential judgement ‘  (ie judgement based on experience) whereas child has Sensory perceptual judgement   ( Perception refers to the process of taking in, organizing, and   interpreting sensory information.) 

Parents had Accepting precedence    Ie tradition to be followed  and child has  Questioning presedence

Parent hadLimited goals. ChiLd has   Expanded goals

Parents had Limited options.  Child has  Multiple options

Parents had Limited aspirations.   Child has  Burning aspirations

Parents believed in Slow and steady. Child has to be   Fast

Parents believed in Collectivism Child believes in  Individualism

Challenges in front of parents

Accept the change in process of the world

Accept the change in child and development of the child

Accept the individualization

Accept with strengths and weakness

Accept with empathy

Accept unconditionally

Pricipals of Rational parenting

1 my child is not a part of me.

     I should not use my child as a medium  for fulfilment  of my aspiration

2  I help my child to develop and not mould his /her life

    My inputs are important but not the only cause for devlopment It will contribute to the devopment   Parenting is an important Part of my Life but it is not ‘equal’ to my life

3  Ideal parent is a myth! 

    Since ideal child is a myth let us try to be effective parent here I acknowledge that I am prone  to mistake In ideal parenting any mistake is a sin /crime hence punishment for self or child

4  expect desired results But refrain from demanding

5  change from dictatorial to negotiations

Negotiation is not knealing down  It is done for finding solutionsmfor finding an alternative and not a powershow

6  Enjoy the process at every stage with its tough spots and hilarious ones

7  parenting is a process in which I give all my resources inputs By totally immersing myself into it  But when the result comes not to claim ownership to it Inorder to avoid the superparent or failed parent trap. It is likethe stalk and fruit, stalk supports the fruit to grow and ripen but when it ripens it leaves it ( does not hold it)  

This way there is total involvement but not demanding the results. Thus duty without  burden is enjoyable And coping becomes easy

8     I should look at my own emotional self interest,  my own development

9.    we should have a emotion of gratitude towards our children

     

 

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